Welcome...

So this is my first entry...I dunno, I've been meaning to do this for a while; to just be able to express myself. God knows I've got lots and lots of drama (which, as usual I bring upon myself). I'm confused about everything. Anywho, been a bit sad cuz father's day just went by and it was also my son's birthday yesterday. Turned the big 6. (Gee how quickly they grow, huh). He's doing pretty good. Happy about all the nice gifts he got for his birthday. However, didn't forget about his daddy. Told me he missed his daddy and was a little sad cuz it was his first birthday w/o him. U know, that's what I hate the most. That my kids have to suffer thru this. I could understand if it was just me or "my problem", but why do my kids have to grow up without a father. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been better if he would have divorced me or just ran off w/ some hoochie, BUT at least he would still be here and his kids would still have him... I personally grew up w/o a father (yeah, bastard used to beat my mom and was the epitome of an A$$ hole, so mom left him.) So I guess I'm another statistic. Its cool though, I made it through ok. However, I vowed that my kids would grow up in a happy, 2 parent home. That my kids would have a father. None of this single parenting crap. Don't get me wrong, I understand that some people don't have a choice about these things (HELLOOOO, me, I'm the perfect example) but this is where I get frustrated, this is where my anger derives from. Why me....Why my kids? Anywho, time has been good to me. I'm much better than I was 6 months ago, that's for sure. I'm starting to slowly come to terms with his leaving....Not that I fully accept it, or understand it. I guess its just part of life and I guess I have to be strong for my babies. That's what I plan on doing. That's what I'm trying to do.