This is me - now...

Up until December 11, 2004, I took life for granted. I never really expected to have my life change so abruptly and definietly not so dramatically. On December 11, 2004 I lost my lover, my partner, my bestfriend. I lost my husband...At the mere age of 27, I was now a widow with 4 small children. This is me now. Trying to figure out what I'm supposed to prove and what am I really about. I thought I knew this already but losing him has been one of the biggest challenges I have been faced with...

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Location: San Bernardino/CA, United States

I'm passionate. I LOVE TO LAUGH. I'm strong yet emotional. I'm independent yet needy. I'm a dreamer...ALL I EVER DO IS DREAM....I feel it's time to start acting on these dreams and what ifs...It's time for a change.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Mr. G

Remember him?? huh, huh, huh...well let me fill u in. I have both good news and bad news. Let me lay it on u. The good news: Mr. G is 18. The bad news: Mr. G is 18! For the love of GOD what the hell is wrong with me??????

How the hell did i allow this to happen? How did i become infatuated with an 18 year old? Helloooo i'm 28. This is ridiculous. I sort of kind of feel like a perv. I know he's legal and all, but u guys, he's 18. I'm trying to think back at when i was 18 and how the guys around me were when they were 18. Up until now, Mr. G has been very sweet, very courteous and geez such a gentleman. I think its the whole martial arts thing, they teach em' manners there. Anywho, he started talking to me and well there's been some flirting (yes i will admit it).

It's really cute cuz i love it when men pay attention to detail. I love it when they actually listen to u. The other day we were talking and i was telling him how i love piercings on guys. (he happens to have piercings by the way) but he didn't have em on that day, cuz they were rolling around on the mat and stuff but anyways, the very next day when i show up to class, why does he have on all his piercings??? That was too damn cute...he's got one in each ear (they're like spikey things that stretch the lobe, very intruiging) and then he's got one on his lip...oh, the one on his lip
**major SIGH**...i told u i have a thing for the whole bad boy image. He also told me he was going to get his nipples pierced...has anyone seen that before? my best friend has them and he looks good...its soo damn sexy...so Mr. G just won another brownie point from me.

Anywho, so far i like what i see and i've liked our conversations (short ones but nice ones). I'm actually kind of scared to get to know him better because 1) His age, i don't want him to turn out to be immature. So far he's been very mature, but come on, he's 18 for christ sake!!! 2) His age, yeah again...i'm 28 people...isn't that like just wrong???

Its annoying me that i'm putting toooo much thought into this.

Ok, so this brings me to the real dillema...he asked me for my number yesterday. I told em to give me his instead. I didn't call....i needed to ask the opinions of my blogger buddies first. What do u think guys??? should i just steer clear? Ughhhh!!!!! Talk to me people. I'm gonna see him tonight cuz the boys have karate class....and i don't want him to think i'm dissing him. Azrael, yes i'm talking to u, i need a guys perspective too...

Crazy, confused and perverted..signing out~

20 Comments:

Blogger Desiree said...

Oh wow. I don't know girl, sounds like a BIG age difference. I don't think I'd be able to do it. I feel weird with a 22 year old, that's just me though.

Good luck either way.

8:33 AM  
Blogger SoozieQ said...

Maybe he can be my boy toy? Whatta ya think Dez?

8:44 AM  
Blogger Karla said...

Bueno chica i dont know what to tell you. I mean the chico sounds HOT pero there is that whole age difference thing. I say get to know him a little more and then decide where to take it from there or he could just become your boy toy...lol..

8:48 AM  
Blogger SoozieQ said...

I wonder why age affects us women more than it does men?

8:57 AM  
Blogger SoozieQ said...

In all fairness, he doesn't know my age, but i know i don't look 18, so so much for that theory. but honestly Az, what would be going on in ur head if u were sitting in his shoes (at 18)?

9:10 AM  
Blogger Desiree said...

I agree with Tannias last comment. If thats all you want, then go for it, but don't get attached. Don't listen to Az, he's too sensitive. LOL, Kidding!!!!!

9:58 AM  
Blogger SoozieQ said...

Ok...just to ease all of ur minds, i'm not ready to settle down or "be in love" again. Remember that i was in a relationship for almost 10 years and i'm not ready for all of that right now...

I would like to talk to him and see what he's about, i understand that i really can't take him too serious cuz i'm sure he's got lots of girlies to choose from...

But like i said before, i can imagine what guys at 18 are thinking (unless he's really naive or gets sprung on me, which is very likely to happen) JUST KIDDING!!!, but really, i'm not about to let my HEART get the best of me. shoot, i'm to old for that...

yeah, its official, he's gonna be my boy toy...am i going thru my mid life crisis already? ewww...

10:08 AM  
Blogger SoozieQ said...

"Nope...you just need to feel needed. Desired. Wanted. Feel like a woman again..."

It's true Az...u hit it right on the nose w/ that comment.

10:38 AM  
Blogger Desiree said...

Well good luck, and BE SAFE!!

11:24 AM  
Blogger Caro said...

hehehehehehehe....you ladies are crazy.

i'm telling you right now, i'm an anomaly of my age. it's a very, very true statement [i believe i'm actually a 30 year-old stuck an in 18 year-old's life, hehe]. but i mean, jeez, have you seen teenagers lately? i cant stand them....i havent been able to for alone while.

i dont even like 18 year olds because they're so immature most of the time.

though, he DOES sound like he's been doing a good job of being a bit of a man about the situation...just about manners, paying attention, getting YOUR attention [something guys tend to need to work on, especially through such small efforts as he has been putting forth...the shorter convos], all of that....things look good right now. just keep truckin along as you are, who know?

age aint nothin' but a number.

ps
[posted this in response to your comment on my blog, para que sepa, and i loved story, btw] i'm REALLY jealous of your son,lol. not only does he get a car but he gets a wrangler, i flippin LOVE wranglers. tell the little one i'm jealous. hehe

11:39 AM  
Blogger SoozieQ said...

ohhh, wouldn't that be cool if he were like the intellectual - mature "male" version of Caro??

11:46 AM  
Blogger Caro said...

lol...i'd probably beat you down for him. lol

they're so few and far between.

11:53 AM  
Blogger Caro said...

did that sound mean....i hope not.

i'm an exceedingly sarcastic person and i tend to forget that sarcasim doesnt translate well in aim or blogger.

i just read it over and realized that those that dont inhabit my mind or know me personally may not get my sarcasim.

blah to it all.

as you can tell.....i think/talk a lot.

hearts as always.

12:20 PM  
Blogger SoozieQ said...

No offense taken...i know your type..very outspoken, but u don't mean it in a hurtful or bad way...(did that make sense?) anywho, its all good, cuz i'd drop kick you before u got close to him...LOL...

Hearts right back at ya girl...

12:59 PM  
Blogger SoozieQ said...

yes mother...no really though, i know about not bringing that stuff infront of my kids...they need to think and keep thinking that their mommy is a saint (which i am)...sometimes...except when i'm out lusting after 18 year olds...ughhhhh!!!

but i luv u lots tannia and ur opinions mean a lot to me ok mija.

1:42 PM  
Blogger Caro said...

as long as the drop kick doesnt land on my face.

we wouldnt want ruin my shallow phase.

2:25 PM  
Blogger SoozieQ said...

LOL...ok, so i had food in my mouth when i read that and u almost made me choke Caro..LOL...

2:32 PM  
Blogger Caro said...

hehehe.

drop kicks in the as are permitted though, it's the feature that i like that also absorbs shock.

=)

just in case your bored [lord knows i am]

one of my glamour shot photos, hehe:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v305/serrot/16thbdaypic4.jpg

2:48 PM  
Blogger Caro said...

so, i was gonna walk away from that typo, but it hurts too much.

ass*

there, i had to do it!

the "as" felt damaging, lol.

ok...i'm a intellectually driven perfectionist....it's bad. haha

3:07 PM  
Blogger Desiree said...

its called UPDATE!

3:13 PM  

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