This is me - now...

Up until December 11, 2004, I took life for granted. I never really expected to have my life change so abruptly and definietly not so dramatically. On December 11, 2004 I lost my lover, my partner, my bestfriend. I lost my husband...At the mere age of 27, I was now a widow with 4 small children. This is me now. Trying to figure out what I'm supposed to prove and what am I really about. I thought I knew this already but losing him has been one of the biggest challenges I have been faced with...

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Location: San Bernardino/CA, United States

I'm passionate. I LOVE TO LAUGH. I'm strong yet emotional. I'm independent yet needy. I'm a dreamer...ALL I EVER DO IS DREAM....I feel it's time to start acting on these dreams and what ifs...It's time for a change.

Monday, November 28, 2005

The Holidays Begin!

So like an insane person i woke up Friday moring and went SHOPPING!!! and by 5 am we were out and about. now, its crazy cuz some people really take this serious! I got to the mall at 5:20 am...can you believe people were already LEAVING with 3 to 4 bags full of stuff in each hand. its like they're on a mission to get to the next store PRONTO! so that's cool and all, but what about the people who have thier newborn babies w/ them or the ones w/ the 2 year old all bundled up in a stroller. Now thats just wrong, poor babies. Anywho, i got a lot done. Not like years in the past where i'm one of those fools who's shopping last minute, even up to the night before trying to get presents....nope not this year, i'm ahead of the game!!! there's only a handful of people i need to get presents for and then i'm set.

So Thanksgiving was nice and quiet. Kind of sad and a bit nostalgic...trying to get through the 1st of everything w/o the hubby around. Thanksgiving is kind of sad cuz its the last holiday he was around for. The boys kept saying things like, "my daddy sat in that chair last year", "daddy was watching football last year", "daddy loved pumpkin pie", so u can imagine how we felt, but this time unlike any other, we decided to not mourn him but remember him. we started telling stories about the past and instead of cyring, we actually laughed. I know he would want that, he wouldn't want us to be depressed.

Well before i go, i wanted to list the things i was thankful for....(didn't get a chance to do it last week) so here we go:

I am thankful for:
1) Andrew, Aaron, Alyssa & Arianna (my babies)

2) God ~ for not forgetting about me and taking care of me. letting me know that i will be ok...

3) rolling around on the ground w/ my kids, chasing them, laughing w/ or at them (yeah i'm mean), playing w/ them, getting hugs and kisses from them, hearing them say "i love u mommy" or "mommy, ur so pretty", cuddling in bed and trying to squeeze 4 kids in w/ me in a queen sized bed...

4) My family...the greatest support system ever. w/o them i don't know what i would have done!

5) Real friends...there for me no matter what! Making me smile, when i cried. Listening to me vent about all my issues (Lord know i sure have issues), never judging me and still loving me no matter what stupid thing i've done...(Karen, Carlos and Jaz I LOVE U)

6) Being blessed w/ good health, a good job, nice home, nice car, and all around good life, regardless of what challenges life brings me.

7) and last but certainly not least: Tannia!!! for introducing me to the blogger world...for introducing me to all of you who have listened to me and let me vent and let me express myself. Thanks to all of you for your kind words and thoughts.

I hope all of you had a great Thanksgiving!!!

6 Comments:

Blogger Caro said...

your thanksgiving made me smile.

i'm glad it went well and involved laughter.

=)

9:19 AM  
Blogger Desiree said...

I'm glad there was laughing on Thanksgiving too!

(although you all are flaky blogger girls)

1:43 PM  
Blogger Priscilla said...

I'm sorry about your husband. The strength you show for you children is remarkable...and having a supportive family is the best. I don't know what I would do without my family. I read your previous post...good luck with you guy. I was in a similiar situation when dating my husband. We dated for six months when I found out he was leaving out of state for school...then he popped the question. You never know what surprises life throws at you!

4:25 PM  
Blogger Karla said...

Any holiday season that involves laughter is a good one in my book :) I am glad that you had a good Thanksgiving.

9:08 AM  
Blogger Karla said...

r ju ok?

2:42 PM  
Blogger Caro said...

of course i got you text message....it woke me up! lol =)

and yep that was me calling to wish you a happy new year...though it told me that it couldnt locate you and i was sad, lol.

soooooo HAPPY NEW YEAR.

we must never mention that game. i died about 12 times.

egh.

hheh.

be well.

1:14 PM  

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