The Youth of Today

So I go to the mall last week (Friday night to be exact) and it was such a disappointing experience. I was there w/ my day care center (my 4 kids and 2 nephews) and my sister in law. Well of course, the kids can't just stroll by the food court w/o chanting and expressing how hungry they are all of a sudden...So I'm forced to be a good mommy and buy them something to grub on. So my sister in law goes and finds seats for the day care center and I go get in line to order the food. Well if u recall I said this was "Friday" night and all the little freaks are out...And I don't mean that in a good way. By freaks I am referring to the little teenage bastards who are swarming the mall in herds... They aren't buying anything, and they're only crowding the place. I know, I know...I used to do it too BUT neither I nor any of my highschool friends were ever as rude or annoying as these little (boy do I really want to cuss here) bastards.

So, I will explain the root of my unhappiness and anger. I'm standing in line w/ one of my kids and in front of me there's like 5 kids of which only ONE is buying anything. They're loud and obnoxious. Anywho...Since Burger King is just sooo busy trying to fill their orders they ask us to wait. As I'm walking away from the counter one of these little *%^#$ backs up and bumps into my baby...(yeah, u can see where this is going right). So, since I feel that we are both (partly) at fault I say excuse us. And start walking away. This little heffer (had to be at least 15 or so) looks me up and down and says nothing then has the audacity to roll her eyes at me goes over to her little friends and says something to them. Now for those of u who don't know me, well I can get pretty ghetto, having grown up in L.A. and all...And ESPECIALLY if u just messed w/ one of my kids. So, I looked at her walked up to her little crowd and said "I know ur talking about the apology ur owe my boy, and he's waiting" (still in a calm and collected voice). All of a sudden all of the hackling stopped and it gets silent. The girl looks at me and says excuse me (u can tell she's embarrassed and a bit pissed that I just put her on the spot in front of her friends).

I guess what I'm getting at is, what's wrong with these kids. They don't know how to say please, excuse me or thank you. One of the little *^%$# was at the burger king counter asking for a bag and simply demanded " I need a bag"....There was no please, or a freakin thank you when she got it. I mean what is it w/ them? I'm sure their parents HAD to have instilled some kind of manners. I bet u they don't act like that in front of their parents (well maybe some of them do). I swear to you that there is no way ANY of my children will ever act like they have no sense. I am making it my personal mission to FORCE manners on my kids. They will never disrespect anyone or make me look bad. Anyways...Just a bit disappointed w/ these teenagers now a days. Ughhh.....

The Ex...

Ok so a couple of days ago I spoke to my Ex. Yes my ex-boyfriend from highschool. I haven't seen him in over 9 years and I haven't spoke to him in over a year. The last time we spoke he was pretty nice (oh I do have to let you know that we broke up on pretty bad terms) and we had a short but sweet conversation - sort of like this...
Me - Hope u r doing well...
Ex- Oh, I'm good, how r u?
Me - Just fine thank u...so what cha' been up to?
Ex - Oh a little bit of this and a bit of that. How 'bout u?
Me - Oh a bit of this and a tad of that...
Ex - Well, that's nice. Its nice to hear from u.
Me - Yes Its nice to speak to u again.
Ex - Don't wait another 8 years before we speak again.
Me - No, we should keep in touch. Take care.
Ex - U 2.
So as u can see, we were civilized, acted like adults and had a nice little conversation. NOW let me tell u about this last conversation we just had. It was such a disappointment. I actually ran into his brother, who happened to be just adorable. He was so down to earth, so sweet and just plain ole' happy to talk to me again. Which if we recall - I sort of, kind of, broke his brother's heart, so if he really wanted to he could have been a punk, but he wasn't, he was a true gentleman and even told me that he would have my ex call me so we could catch up. Sooooo yes, I get a call from the ex a couple of days later. I don't know what happened to this man in the last year BUT it sure as hell wasn't the same guy. He was arrogant, pompous, self absorbed, conceited...need I go on. He just kept going on and on about himself and the beautiful women he dates and how mature he is now and just a bunch of CRAP if u ask me. I don't know if he was trying to impress me (which he didn't). Or maybe it was all an act (that's what I think). He was just so fake and boring. I was so turned off by the entire conversation that I just had to hang up. If this was an act, I feel sorry for him, cuz I don't think he needed to do all of that. I guess I may have been holding on to old memories, u know, of the sweet guy who I was proud to say was my 1st love, my highschool sweetheart. The guy who would treat me like a princess. I dunno...its not that I wanted him again, its that I guess I wanted to bond with him onemore time and that sure as hell isn't happening. Wow, how people change huh?

Welcome...

So this is my first entry...I dunno, I've been meaning to do this for a while; to just be able to express myself. God knows I've got lots and lots of drama (which, as usual I bring upon myself). I'm confused about everything. Anywho, been a bit sad cuz father's day just went by and it was also my son's birthday yesterday. Turned the big 6. (Gee how quickly they grow, huh). He's doing pretty good. Happy about all the nice gifts he got for his birthday. However, didn't forget about his daddy. Told me he missed his daddy and was a little sad cuz it was his first birthday w/o him. U know, that's what I hate the most. That my kids have to suffer thru this. I could understand if it was just me or "my problem", but why do my kids have to grow up without a father. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been better if he would have divorced me or just ran off w/ some hoochie, BUT at least he would still be here and his kids would still have him... I personally grew up w/o a father (yeah, bastard used to beat my mom and was the epitome of an A$$ hole, so mom left him.) So I guess I'm another statistic. Its cool though, I made it through ok. However, I vowed that my kids would grow up in a happy, 2 parent home. That my kids would have a father. None of this single parenting crap. Don't get me wrong, I understand that some people don't have a choice about these things (HELLOOOO, me, I'm the perfect example) but this is where I get frustrated, this is where my anger derives from. Why me....Why my kids? Anywho, time has been good to me. I'm much better than I was 6 months ago, that's for sure. I'm starting to slowly come to terms with his leaving....Not that I fully accept it, or understand it. I guess its just part of life and I guess I have to be strong for my babies. That's what I plan on doing. That's what I'm trying to do.