A lot on My Plate...

Ok. So i'm excited, pissed off, and numb. It's crazy how a person could have sooo many emotions running thru them huh? So let me explain...

Next week Friday, about this time, I'll be sitting at a Black Jack table, w/ a Whiskey Sour in one hand and a pair of cards in the other yelling HIT ME!! Yeah, baby, I'm going to be in VEGAS. Oh, the love i have for that place is grand. Vegas and I have a relationship like no other. Its my birthday next week and I'm going to spend it in Vegas ~ the happiest place on earth. Well it is, when ur a gambler....so lets move on. I'm very excited, i haven't been there for about a year now, and if u know me, that's A LONG A$$ TIME ok....I love the city, i love the lights, i love the game tables, i love the clubs. Any suggetions for a club by the way? Been to Studio 54 at MGM and it was all right...Rain at the Palms is AWESOME...but i want to try something new, u know... Anywho, wish me luck and hopefully i'll break the house and come back w/ some money..woo hoo...

Ok so why am i pissed off u might ask? Well i won't go into toooo much detail, but yeah its because of Mr. G. To make a long story short, i'm done w/ him. He lied, he got caught, he's an ass and that's that (and no its not another girl)....whatever. U know i really gave him too much credit at one point and that's why i'm pissed. i'm upset that i'm mad. and i'm mad at myself for being upset? make sense? i feel that if i didn't care, i wouldn't be mad and since i'm mad, therefore i care and i DIDN'T want to care! Capiche? ok...whatever, i'm done, he's done, good riddens! Moving on...

And finally, why would i be numb...well as i mentioned before, its my birthday next week and I'll be turning 29...ewwww...(gasping). i don't know how to handle that exactly. I had a really hard time w/ 27 and well 28 just came and went but 29??? Do you realize that its the last i'll see of my 20's. I won't be in the 20's range any longer. I can't even say i'm depressed cuz it hasn't really hit me yet. Hopefully it won't...i just can't believe i'm there now, at the end of my 20's...ughhhhh....

Ok, well i'm not going to get all depressed and bitch about it, i'm going to count down the days till Vegas and enjoy my LONG weekend. Oh the joys of civil service. We get all the holidays off. So have a great weekend folks, enjoy it and we'll talk again soon.

See i'm getting better at blogging again right? *Wink*

Happy Singles Awareness Day...

Hola everybody. Today is (ughh) Valentines Day. BUT not everyone is celebrating it soooo in favor of us singles, i declare today ~ Singles Awareness Day. Yes if u have a lover, baby, boo, honey, sweetie, whatever...i'm not gonna hate on u, however, i want to recognize us single folks too!!

I'm happy for all of u that are lucky enough to have someone special today. Good for you. Currently I'm in a place where i'm learning to be "alone" (ewww). This is a time where i need to concentrate on me and on being "single" (ewww)...sorry , i've told u guys the whole ~ "ever since i started dating, i've never been single" story so bare w/ me. Thanks...

Its not my first Singles Awareness day, I was single last year, but u can imagine that it was not a happy day. Well neither is today but i'm better now. I can handle my "situation" better and am coping w/ my baby being in heaven now.

Anywhoooooooo...so some of u may be wondering "Gee Soozie, what happened to Mr. G? Isn't he ur Valentine?" Umm, No he isnt. He went away...far far away...yes he finally left. Crazy huh...he left about a month ago. We never really had another "good-bye" like the first one. Which is cool, cuz that moment couldn't be duplicated nor would i want it to be. It was a short and expected parting actually. We actually never said "good-bye" it was more like, I'll be back next weekend ok. I'll call u. And he did. We "kept" in touch for a bit and slowly our conversations have dwindled. He started working out in Palmdale and well its not as easy to get down here when ur working weekends too. I mean i knew this was going to happen, its just wierd u know. I haven't spoke to him in over a week. And honestly i don't see him calling me. I called him yesterday and just told him i was checking on him to see if he's alright? And then i kinda said for him not to bother calling me back, that I was cool and hopefully he was too. If he needs me i'll be here but right now i'm gonna just walk away. Haven't heard from him yet and actually i hope i don't.

Its just that i'm already mentally parting w/ him and i don't want to do this whole long distance relationship thing. I mean we're not in a "relationship" per say but u know what i mean....i'm just not trying to be allllll attached to him and then BAM he drops me like whatever....nope, not trying to get hurt and it seems like that's where this is headed so i'm bowing out gracefully right now.

But anyways being single isn't soooo bad right? I'm sure its got its UPS? I'll let u know what they are when i find out too....

Hugs and Kisses to all my singles....Pats on the backs to all my couples. All in all, hope everyone enjoys the day...Now excuse me while i go jump off the 8th floor. Laters...