This is me - now...

Up until December 11, 2004, I took life for granted. I never really expected to have my life change so abruptly and definietly not so dramatically. On December 11, 2004 I lost my lover, my partner, my bestfriend. I lost my husband...At the mere age of 27, I was now a widow with 4 small children. This is me now. Trying to figure out what I'm supposed to prove and what am I really about. I thought I knew this already but losing him has been one of the biggest challenges I have been faced with...

My Photo
Name:
Location: San Bernardino/CA, United States

I'm passionate. I LOVE TO LAUGH. I'm strong yet emotional. I'm independent yet needy. I'm a dreamer...ALL I EVER DO IS DREAM....I feel it's time to start acting on these dreams and what ifs...It's time for a change.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Hello Monday...

Mondays suck...i'm tired...bored...i don't want to be here. ughhhhhh....at least i'm going home in 15 min...i thought i'd blog to kill some time.

Anywho, the weekend was busy. Did the mommy thing and went to a birthday party yesterday. Kids had a blast. It's always cool when ur kids are having fun. I've noticed how far my girls have come. U know they're premies...born at 31 weeks and wieghed 3 pounds each. Tiny little rugrats, they were. Now they're two and are growing like crazy. They're so smart. Its awsome to see them interact w/ eachother. They talk to eachother, i don't know what the hell they're telling eachother, but communicate they do!! Someone gave me a book on Twins and it describes how twins have this thing called twin talk and how they create their own language...i think my girls are doing it cuz i swear to you they ramble and they laugh and u can really tell they understand eachother...its awsome to watch.

Saturday, went to a baptism...was a huge event, it was ur traditional "Mexican-Party" (by the way, i'm not mexican before u ask). The parents went all out got a live mexican - band, had a dj, rented a hall...the works. Pretty cool. HOWEVER...my boys were bored out of their minds. Kept asking "are we leaving yet?" "Its too loud in here" "u said we were leaving" "i don't like the food" "when are we leaving?" Yeah, u can imagine...i was like "NO WE'RE NOT LEAVING...when u see the keys in my hand and u see me walking out, that's when we're leaving"....they still asked.

I was cracking up cuz this was definitely not my scene...the music was not my thing, that's for sure. But i made lemonade out of the lemons we were handed and just went w/ the flow of things. Funniest thing was when the "DJ" played english music for the "kids" and he busted out with Mc Hammer's classic "u cant touch this" added some Vanilla Ice, rocked some T & T music Factory...It was the BOMB....my kids were like, "what's so funny? Are we leaving yet?" I swear, that was the best part of the night. ooohhh, then some guy comes and asks me if i want to dance and my 6 year old just MAD DOGGED him...it was hillarious. My son was like "what did he want?" "why is he asking u to dance?" Gee..u'd think i was sitting w/ my dad for Christ's sake! He's gonna give some poor Joe a hard time...i can tell already.

On happier news - Carlitos comes back tomorrow from his VC...yippy....i'm excited.

Anyways...i'm gonna try and sneak out...i'll catch u guys laters!

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

This is tooo fun!

Ok...so i have to admit that I'm having a ball...this was tooooo easy people. Let me give u the details. Young Mr. G has been on my jock for the last 2 weeks. I'm loving it. He's been calling and calling and text messaging and asking me out and i'm like "ehhh, we'll see ~ i'm busy"...Muahhhahaahhhaaaa....(that's my evil laugh).

So yeah, i started ignoring him. He got back from a mini vacation and was like, "i've missed u, lets hang out" and i was like "i'm busy, sorry" then he calls and i don't answer or if i do i'm like "oh can i call u back" and then i don't.

He sends text messages and i don't answer. So i know he knows somethings up. Cuz now he doesn't stop calling. See when i see him at the studio I act like NOTHING has changed, i'm all smiley and flirty and stuff, so i know i'm throwing him off...oh i love it. My co-workers are saying i'm being too mean. I don't think so, i'm just having fun. They're telling me that i've probably punished him enough for now...and i should give him a second chance???? i dunno peeps, what do u think? i don't trust the little bastard, but he does make me laugh, cuz he's hella funny...but still...my guards up, he f*cked up already...

On another note...i'm a bit depressed. My best friend (ok i've got 3 - but they all serve a different purpose) Jaz, is my oldest friend and she knows me oh so well...we've been through A LOT together and she's sooo awsome, so she's my best freind...Karen is my bestest (is that a word?) friend, in the whole world, cuz she puts up w/ all my bull and she NEVER judges me and she's family, she's my sister in law, i think i treat her better than my brother even, hee hee and she's ALWAYS there for me...me love her very much and then there's Carlos, he's my guy best friend, my partner in crime, he's a dork just like me, we argue fuss and fight and then we're back to normal...he bugs me at work all day...and i do the same to him...) ok so now that u guys are on the up and up...well Carlitos left me for a week...yeah i'm depressed. He took off to Puerto Vallarta for vacation..boooo he sucks for leaving me. I have no one to play w/ now. FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK i will be bugging Karen, she's already warned me to stop running up her cell phone bill and my brother keeps asking her if i have nothing better to do than keep calling his house (what nerve)...and Jaz is busy w/ school in NYC...that heffer left me too...so i'm depressed...

On yet ANOTHER note (i really should be getting back to work but whatever)...i just made a wonderful investment to contribute to the shaping and molding of my figure. Folks i just purchased Carmen Electras Strip to a Fit body workout videos. I love it...my ass, my legs, my arms and my abs are killing me by the way. Its not all about stripping and stuff, there's actually a butt kicking workout part that makes u hurt...so i give it about a month or 2 before i start looking like her (hee hee) and not only that...ONE day some lucky fellow will enjoy and benefit from my learning the art of the lap dance...ha ha ha ...

U guys rock, stay cool and i'll talk to u laters...i'm out!!!